A Rookie’s Guide to Spanking
By Carnal Queen.
Spanking is often the first tentative steps taken by people wanting to explore the BDSM world. It’s easy to do, it doesn’t need you to run out and buy a dungeon full of equipment, and it can be something that’s subtly introduced into even the most vanilla of relationships – we’ve all had a playful whack on the ass, right?
It’s not just a case of bending the receiver over and expecting them to accept a torrent of ass smacks though. Understanding the why’s and the how’s can really help you to enhance the experience for both partners, and allow you to have a spankingly good time together.
Some people seem to presume that the pleasure is all for the giver, and that the receiver is merely tolerating, or putting up with it to please their partner. This is so far from the truth, as anyone who enjoys a good spanking will confirm. When done right, it can feel amazing, causing multiple feelings and emotions to course through your body – do it wrong, and it’ll be an experience you likely won’t want to repeat.
There are both mental and physical reasons why people get spanked for pleasure. It’s considered risqué and taboo, and many things which are seen to be naughty like this are often a huge turn on. It’s always been said that there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain, and really there’s never been a truer word spoken. When you’re spanked, your body goes through a process which takes you on a journey – and that journey is a very special one…
The Science Behind Spanking!
Yep, spanking is a thing because of SCIENCE. I’m not going to go into too much detail in this beginners guide, because it can be very complex and confusing, but I do think it’s important to touch on it a little bit. Although you weren’t taught it in your biology lessons at school, science is one of the main reasons why people enjoy being hit for pleasure. The process your body goes through is mostly a chemical one. You respond to the stimuli by releasing neurotransmitters, which in turn alter your experience, as it progresses.
As you await the first strike, you’re poised in anticipation. Much the same way as if you were being followed by a stranger down a dark path, your body is fearful and is aware of the potential danger. ACTH is released and is responsible for heightening your senses and is the reason the first couple of hits will hurt more. It makes you feel pain more intensely.
So now you’re about 30 seconds into your spanking, and the next neurotransmitter is released. This one’s the good old Endorphin. We’ve all heard of Endorphin’s, they’re happy chemicals, which arm you with a better coping mechanism. The level of pain feels less when the Endorphin’s kick in, and they allow you to be able to take more in terms of strikes and feel slightly less in terms of pain. Endorphin’s are chemical painkillers and are very similar in their structure to morphine … Yeah, powerful stuff!
The next delivery is Dopamine. This gets delivered as a result of the Endorphin release that we’re experiencing, so it happens pretty fast. Dopamine is a happy chemical too, but it’s also responsible for helping us feel pain. So we’re mentally experiencing pleasure as we’re physically experiencing pain – makes sense! It’s also a neurochemical which allows us to feel that euphoric high, and is responsible in some part, for post orgasmic bliss!
Oxytocin is the feel good neurochemical, sometimes dubbed the ‘love hormone’, as to fall in love, Oxytocin needs to be present. We release it to respond to stimuli that we feel is loving or caring. At the end of a spanking session, stroking, kissing, cuddling or touching will cause a surge of Oxytocin to be released. The more we release, the more loved we feel, and the more responsive to that chemical we become.
That really is spanking in brief. There are more neurotransmitters involved, but just having a basic understanding of those few, will really enhance your spanking sessions. With this in mind, you can see how the dominant partner can really play with the submissive partner. For example, a few words or actions that instil fear, in the right place, as they’re riding a wave of Endorphin’s can cause ACTH to be released again, therefore increasing their feeling of pain to the strikes. It’s also very easy to understand why aftercare is very important, and why spanking can be an amazing stress reliever for some. That Oxytocin release at the end is beautiful, and whilst some people will never open their minds far enough to understand how being hit can make someone feel more loved and cared for, it’s clear to see, when you understand the sciencey shiz behind it!
We generally spank in the region close to the genital area too. This increases blood-flow, which increases arousal and often leads to more intense orgasms for the receiver – which is a pretty awesome reward for being good in my opinion!
So Where Do You Start?
Safewords are the perfect place to start when you’re introducing spanking for the first time. Having a word, which clearly announces that you need to stop, is invaluable as you learn each others boundaries and limits. In fact, having two words, one for a definite STOP, and another to tell your partner that you’re nearing your limit, is a great idea. Obvious choices are RED and YELLOW, but pick something that you feel will work for you. Don’t choose a word that you might say randomly, when you’re lost in the throes of passion! Equally, don’t choose something so off the wall, that you’re likely to forget it easily. Make sure you both know the chosen words, and understand the need for total compliance if they’re used.
Strikes should always be kept to the lower half of the buttocks or the tops of the thighs, when you’re starting out in the world of spanking. Too high, and you run the risk of hitting around the spine or the kidney area, which could be dangerous. Sure, as you become more experienced, there are other areas you can enjoy using, but it’s best to get the basics down pat, before you move on.
The hand is a fantastic tool to use to begin with. Strikes are more controlled, because you can feel what you’re doing, and you are in total control of the pressure you’re exerting. It also makes a fantastic noise, which really adds to the experience! Make sure you remove all rings and bracelets, you don’t want any breakages or unnecessary injuries.
The position you choose to use is important, and will depend on where that particular session is headed. Bent over spanking is great, if the receiver is able to support themselves like that fairly easily. It offers a great view for the giver, freedom of movement and there’s something really sexy about it to me – being left alone, unaided by anything, exposed to your Master totally. It’s not a good position for harder or lengthier sessions though, because the submissive partner may find they become too unstable under the force of the spanks. For those, more vigorous play sessions, on all fours, or being supported at the upper body by a table or the like, is a great option. The receiver will be able to stay positioned correctly without travelling forward, and the giver still gets an awesome view from behind. Over the lap spanking is a great position, but it doesn’t allow the dominant partner to use certain implements because of their more restricted and contained movement, and it can be harder to breathe when you’re against someones knees. Extra care should be taken, and the giver must ensure the receiver is comfortable. That applies to each and every spanking position, but especially when over the knees! You can introduce more positions as you become more experienced, but I guarantee you’ll keep coming back to these old favourites over and over again.
Tools of the Trade
A hand is always there, it feels great, and it’s free to use, but where do you look when you want to up the ante? There are so many wonderful things that you can add to your impact play armoury, you’re spoilt for choice. Some are undoubtedly a more gentle introduction, and they go right up to the most brutal of hitty things. Floggers, crops, whips, paddles, rulers, and straps to name but a few. Have fun learning to appreciate every piece you add to your collection, respect them and understand what they’re capable of. Start off with something less intimidating, a soft flogger or a plush coated paddle, for example. Master them one by one, as they assist their Master in reddening your ass. You’ll find ones you love, and you may find your tastes and experiences change as you progress on your BDSM journey, but embrace that. When you open your eyes to the possibilities, you’ll realise there’s a whole new world out there, waiting to be conquered!
It might be an obvious statement, but it’s not one to overlook. It has to be fun, and you need to get something out of it, or else why do it! This has to be an experience that both parties enjoy, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open, and to talk about your experiences, likes and dislikes with each other. Grow together, laugh together, and relish in the wonderful new feelings you encounter in your newly discovered, intimate spanking sessions. Most of all, stay SAFE, stay SANE, and stay CONSENSUAL.