DeLuxe HURTME Hand Paddle Review
By Carnal Queen.
I’m a total sucker for a nice impact play tool. Not only do they really get my juices flowing, the minute I lay eyes on them, but I really do enjoy expanding our collection. It’s a great feeling when one comes along that’s very different to the rest of our collection, it makes me buzz with anticipation. The DeLuxe HURTME Hand Paddle from MEO is exactly that, totally different from anything we own, and because of that, I was delighted when MEO sent it to me in a review package. If you’ve not checked them out yet, then give them a visit, they’re a fantastic German company, who ship worldwide and offer great service!
The HURTME Hand Paddle is undoubtedly a premium product. It’s incredibly well made, and has a definite masculine air about it. I really like this about it, because for me, it makes it a little more intimidating, and that adds heaps to the impact play experience for me. I like to feel apprehensive, and a little nervous. I like to feel the blood pumping and my nerves tingling as I await my fate. It builds the scene nicely, and makes the session far more rewarding for me.
This paddle is fairly compact in terms of it’s stature. It measures 34cm in length, excluding the metal ring, and 9cm wide. It has a depth of approximately 8mm. Don’t be fooled into thinking smaller paddle automatically equals smaller impact, because that really isn’t always the case. It’s made from several layers of leather, stitched together, to form a surface which is rigid in it’s nature. The hand shape is well defined, and the stitches that are placed to provide detailing are neatly done, and add to the aesthetics.
It’s got a metal loop at the end of the handle, which is fantastic if you hang items like this, as we do. If you prefer to store things like this away from prying eyes though, there’s a black storage bag included. I love these bags, they’re MEO branded, and have ‘PLAY WITH ME’ subtly printed on the side. It’s exactly the same as the bags included with the Berlin cuffs I reviewed last year, so if you like all of your kit bags to match, that’s a bonus. My only criticism would be, that the bag for this paddle is the same size as the cuff ones. It’s rather big, and I’d prefer it if the bags all matched, but were different sizes. Obviously so things fit better, without lots of surplus space, but also so things were more easily identified through the bags. It’s tricky when they all look exactly the same!
You’ll never hear me saying that CK needs a hand in the bedroom, but it has to be said, he’s certainly enjoyed having this one aid him in his quest to redden my ass. I adore many of our spanking toys, but sometimes you just can’t beat a whack from a hand, and now he’s got the perfect substitute, should his actual palm ever tire! Because the handle of this is metal, it has no flex to it whatsoever, and the short length means the swing all comes from your arm. CK prefers to hold this right at the very end, over the leather cap and metal ring. This gives him more handle length and allows for a better swing, but he has said that it doesn’t feel particularly comfortable when held in this way. If he holds the metal bar, he feels too close to the leather hand for maximum impact, and if his hands are clammy, it can get a bit slippy there too. I think I’d prefer it if the stem was braided leather, perhaps with a thin metal core, because the flex that would introduce would aid in spanking, and make each hit more effortless, but ultimately with more reward.
I’d say this paddle is suited to a beginner, up to an intermediate player. It looks the part, but isn’t as brutal as some toys we own. You achieve a good flat thwack, which can cause moderate levels of pain, but it’s missing the sheer bite, that something like the Tantus Pelt or Plunge would have. It’s a great deal of fun though, and it’s going to look fabulous on display as part of my collection!
Also doubles as a paddle for auction bidding, or a very posh fly swat!
Great as part of a scene, it looks the part!
Suited to beginners and intermediate players
No flex in the stem
Hardcore pain seekers may find it slightly lacking
Uncomfortable to hold for longer sessions
MEO kindly sent me the HURTME Hand Paddle for free, in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This in no way alters my thoughts or experiences. Affiliate links have been used in this post.