uFUC Pro Review
By Carnal Queen.
I was so excited when the lovely folk over at sexmachines.co.uk offered to send me the uFUC Pro to test and review, pre-release. There was only a couple of the machine’s in existence, and I was going to be one of the first to get my sticky mitts (and other parts) on it! Exciting times! Sex machines are serious pieces of kit and I love them. Sure, they’re not going to be for everyone, but with their many possibilities, they’re a very versatile ‘sex toy’ to have in your armoury. The uFUC Pro is their new flagship machine, offering power, affordability and copious amounts of fun, so strap yourself in, and let me tell you all about the new kid on the block …
As always with sexmachines, I was very happy with how the machine was shipped to me. Everything was discreet and well packaged in a heavy duty brown box, and delivered on a next day service. Setting up was so easy, a trained monkey could probably do it, although I advise against putting that theory to the test. In literally 5 minutes, it was all put together and turned on. There’s something fascinating about watching the machine thrust backwards and forwards relentlessly, it’s immense fun, and it’s something I never get bored of watching!
I do think it’s a bit of a shame that the uFUC Pro arrives to you dildo-less, but I’m very pleased that it works on the Vac-U-Lock system, which gives you a broad choice of the kind of dildo you want to use with it. I don’t like TPR/TPE dildos because of their porosity, but there are a number of silicone options out there, which is fantastic. You don’t have to stick to Doc Johnson either, because you can also use Vac-U-Lock compatible dildos … there’s really no excuse to ever get bored with a machine like this. I’d recommend starting out with a slightly more modest dildo than you’re used to, in terms of girth, because the vigorous action of a sex machine can make them feel a little larger and more overwhelming, especially on higher speeds.
As you prepare for a session with the uFUC Pro, there are a couple of things you need to consider. It’s not really just a case of whacking yourself on the end of a dildo and hoping for the best! You need to think about how deep the machine thrusts, because if you get it wrong it can be uncomfortable, or worse still, cause pain. Nobody wants to be bashing a dildo hard into their cervix, I know I don’t anyway, at any speed! You need to feel like you know and understand the machine, to take away any apprehension you may feel, because a relaxed introduction to a sex machine is a better introduction than a cautious or nervous one! I generally start off in the middle of the thrust depth adjuster, giving me room to manoeuvre either way if necessary.
The machine is able to fully invert, opening up all sorts of possibilities for vertical giggery-pokerey, which I was hugely excited about. You can pretty much angle it all the way downwards too. General usability will dictate where you stop, and you obviously need to set it higher on the frame to allow it to move without hitting the floor. It’s about playing around and finding what works for you in your chosen position. No idea why, but we decided to try it first with me sat at the edge of the sofa, it was as good a position as any! With the machine angled up and the height set, we turned the machine on slowly, and turned it back off again when the crank arm end was pointing towards the dildo. This meant that the thrust rod was at it’s full extension, and the dildo was as far forward as it was going to get. Starting here meant I could push myself on to the dildo, positioning it as deep into my vagina as I wanted, knowing that it couldn’t go any deeper when the machine began to thrust. With the controls handed over to CK, I covered the dildo and myself in water based lube and slid myself into position. Waiting for that first click of the dial to turn the machine on seemed to take forever, it wasn’t, but I was eager and apprehensive in equal measure. When he did turn it on I was a bit underwhelmed initially. Although the machine apparently does 0-240 thrusts per minute, in reality it doesn’t click on until between 30-60 thrusts, and this feels much slower than you might think. More speed please CK!
I can’t emphasise enough the importance of taking the time to get the machine set exactly right for your situation. It’s worth spending a few minutes before you start, just to get it set perfectly, to make sure you don’t have to stop once you’re in the moment, and to make sure you get a clean run of the dildo, in and out of your body. If it’s not positioned correctly, I found that on the lower speeds I could twist my hips slightly and it would be enough to temporarily halt the dildos motion. I wouldn’t recommend doing this intentionally though. It’s a very strange feeling looking down and watching yourself being fucked by a machine, but it’s awesome, and CK certainly doesn’t get bored of the view either! Using the machine lying down is also really easy to do with a few simple adjustments, as is standing up, and on all fours … all positions are easy and very achievable with the uFUC Pro. So how is it when it’s up to the higher speeds? WOW! It really does pound you with ferocious exuberance, and it’s a really amazing feeling.
I’m going to embrace the stereotype though, and tell you that my favourite position for the uFUC Pro (and any of my other sex machine’s actually), is on all fours. There’s something really carnal about it (maybe that’s why) and it feels more sexual, there’s no escaping it, it’s incredibly hot. It’s also a great position to shove a cock in your face, and CK gladly obliges every time. I’ve been praised for my cock sucking skills many times, but to be honest, it’s hard to give Oscar winning performances when you’re being hammered hard and fast from behind by a mains powered device, but it doesn’t matter, it looks and feels fucking amazing, and it certainly gets the job done! He didn’t moan, well he did, but … you know 😉
It’s not fair that I get to have all the fun is it? No, so CK got to have his moment with the uFUC Pro and a Fleshlight. Again, you’re going to need to buy a Fleshlight adaptor separately, along with a CNC bit (this allows the adaptor to be screwed onto your 8mm thrusting rod), but once you have these, any standard Fleshlight can be mounted on the sex machine – we used the Ice Lady Crystal Vagina. Sorry fellas, but you can only really use the uFUC Pro in a kneeling position or whilst standing at the edge of the bed with the machine on it, erection angles don’t allow for lying down or anything fancy! I have to say, I really do get a kick out of watching him enjoying his hands free fucking experience. Using a clear(ish) Fleshlight adds to this also. We set it up in a similar way as we did with the dildo, he entered the Fleshlight when the machine was on full thrust, and he had no pubic bone bashing issues, he just had pleasure!
LUBE! Lube is an absolute essential, and in bucket loads, no matter what you’re using the sex machine for. It goes fast, it goes hard, and unless you lube up frequently, it goes dry! It thrusts and strokes far quicker than you can by hand, so it does go through a lot of lube, something to bear in mind if you decide you want to buy a sex machine. I love that the machine stays solidly on the surface you’ve put it on too, we’ve both used the machine on the wooden floors, on the rug, and on the bed with absolutely no problems at all. I’ve seen some (actually more expensive) machines jerk around at top speeds, almost lunging forward, but the uFUC Pro doesn’t budge.
I have to say, I’m really rather liking the uFUC Pro, and testing it out has been immense fun. The build quality is great, and it works incredibly well. The motor just runs and runs, and doesn’t even get warm to the touch, and although I can stop it on lower speeds with my body, there’s no stopping it when it picks up pace. I’d personally prefer the machine to come with a silicone dildo to get you started, or maybe a universal adaptor, but considering the cost, you can still fully customise your machine for considerably less than the cost of some other machines out there. I’d recommend looking at the different attachments you can get, like universal adaptors and extension rods.
It’s a machine with a bigger footprint (approx 30cm deep, 45cm wide, and 48cm high) and it has a solid weight to it (just over 12kg), so storage and discretion is something to consider, but if you’re looking for a serious sex machine, this could be the one for you. You do get a small amount of ‘wobble’ of the main machine on the tilt plate when on higher speeds, but it’s not enough to impact the use of the machine. You just need to make sure you’ve tightened the two screw knobs, very tightly, to ensure the machine remains at the height and angle you set. It’s also not overly noisy – some sex machines can be really loud, almost off-putting, but considering the power level of this machine, the uFUC Pro is of an acceptable level, in my opinion.
I really like the versatility of this machine too, being able to use it for vaginal and anal penetration as well as a male masturbator, and for double penetration, opens up all kinds of possibilities. It’s a great substitute if you’ve always wanted to introduce a third person into your sex sessions, but never quite done it, for whatever reason. I’d highly recommend buying a sex machine if you’re even the slightest bit curious about them. When I consider the cost of some of my higher end sex toys, and what you actually get for your money, the uFUC Pro is without doubt incredible value for money. Everyone needs a sex machine in their lives, don’t they?
Huge thanks to sexmachines for sending me the uFUC Pro for free in exchange for an honest and unbiased review, this in no way alters my thoughts or experiences. If you’d like to buy your own machine, you can do so here. No affiliate links have been used in this post.