By Carnal Queen.
These are pants, and this is my first lingerie review on my website! I generally don’t post them here because photographing them flat is a nightmare, and I don’t plan on doing any modelling, but knickers I can manage!
I’m really struggling to understand the appeal and excitement about pearl knickers. I mean, they’re ok, but ok doesn’t float boats does it? Am I missing something? People often love them, but I’m just not feeling it at all …
Lets start at the beginning (after all, it’s a very good place to start), they arrive in a simple clear bag with a small swing tag attached, which is fine as I didn’t expect any bells or whistles here. They seem to be coming up small on the sizing, they fit and are comfortable, but they should be roomy on me and they’re not at all. Why can’t sizing be the same from every manufacturer? *sigh*
The pearls (I’ll get back to those) are strung onto elastic and stitched into the crotchless area with just a couple of stitches at the front and back. Although I’ve seen no signs of deterioration through a handful of washes and wears, I do wonder how long this will last. They’d be easily stitched back in if they did come undone, but yeah, would I really be bothered to do it? I think not.
Yes, they’re comfortable to wear, and the pearls(!) are easily slipped to the side if you so desire, when things get hot and steamy, but do they provide any stimulation? Honestly, not a great deal for me. They feel lovely and cool against the skin when you first slip them on, but they soon warm up to body temperature. Of course I can feel them there against my labia, but after I’m used to them being there, they stop providing any stimulation to speak of. They tend to naturally sit lower than the clitoris and I can hardly keep tugging them into a better position can I, that’s not exactly sexy!
Getting back to the (ahem) pearls. I’m a bit dubious and cautious about those if I’m honest. They’re not pearls, they’re cheap, painted, shitty plastic beads. Perhaps expecting pearls for the £8 price tag is a bit ambitious (although I buy pearls, and I know how inexpensive they can be) but I have no idea what those beads are painted with, if the paint is even body-safe etc, so I’m not sure if I want them hanging out around my vulva too frequently … maybe that’s just me?
They wash well, I’ve done mine by hand so far, which for me is a miracle by itself. They look ok on, nothing mind blowing or life changing though. They’re just a bit Meh in my opinion.
Pants, just pants.
Lovehoney sent me the Oh La La Cheri Crotchless Pearl Thong for free in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This in no way alters my thoughts, and all experiences and opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.