For me, lube is an essential part of the love-making process, as well as being an invaluable commodity when it comes to playing with sex toys. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t use it in absolutely every session, but in general I do believe that everything is better with lube!
There’s been a lot of attention in the press recently, surrounding people and their use of lube, sadly not all of it positive. Yes, I’m looking at you Ronda Rousey! She gave an interview with Maxim, and this is what she had to say about the subject ..
“You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy…”
LAZY? What is wrong with the woman! The idea of shaming people because of their use of lube is totally abhorrent to me. NOBODY should ever be made to feel ashamed because they need or want to use artificial lubrication for sex. There are a ton of reasons why people use lubrication, ranging from medical issues, to simply just liking the feel of it! It doesn’t matter the reasons, LUBE UP AND ENJOY YOURSELF! People took to Twitter to convey their disgust at her remark, and the hashtag #tweetyourlube was born. Maxim covered the story, and Ronda must’ve felt like a right idiot – and rightly so.
Please don’t take notice of anyone who tries to lube-shame you. It’s nobody’s business, and to be honest, their ignorance is their own loss – they clearly haven’t experienced the awesome slip and slide of steamy lubed up sex session! Wetter is better!
So, forgetting about small-minded fools, which lube is best for my requirements? There are a lot of brands and types of lube, and it can be a little overwhelming when you’re starting out. Before choosing a lube, it’s a good idea to think about what you want to use it for, which will help you decide which lube fits your needs.
Silicone lubes are generally the most long-lasting, requiring little or no reapplication during use, because the body won’t absorb them. Being silicone, they’re waterproof, meaning they can be a little harder to clean away when you’re done, as they need some form of soap to break the silicone down. On the plus side, this also means that they’re great for bath or shower fun, because they don’t easily wash away. Word of caution though, silicone lubes are incredibly slippy, so be extra careful in water, so you don’t slip or fall!
Silicone lubes are great for use with glass or metal sex toys, but they’re not recommended for use with silicone toys, because it can cause deterioration, so bare this in mind. Silicone is condom safe, and is often a little more expensive than water based lubes, but you generally need less, so they last longer. It’s suitable for masturbation, vaginal and anal sex. Feels oily and quite thin.
Water Based Lubes
These are the best kind of all-round lubricant. They are totally condom safe, and will have no negative affects on your sex toys, no matter what they’re made of, making water based lube the perfect choice for toy play. They will often need reapplication, because they absorb or dry out more quickly. They generally wont stain bedding, and they wash off the body with ease. Suitable for all toy play, masturbation and vaginal sex. Can be used for anal sex, depending on personal preference and viscosity. Be aware of ingredients, glycerin can cause/exacerbate yeast infections. Often thicker than silicone, and is more ‘cushioned’. Can usually be ‘reactivated’ if they dry, by adding a little moisture to the area.
As you’d expect from the name, hybrid lubes are a cross between water based and silicone. Often referred to as ‘Silk’ lubes, they are mainly water based with a small amount of silicone added into the mix. Because the amount of silicone is small, hybrid lubes are generally considered silicone sex toy safe (advisable to perform a spot test at the base of the toy).
Thicker than silicone lubes, with perhaps not as much thickness or cushion as a full on water based lube, they are often the happy medium. Generally non-staining, and may need reapplication as a water based lube would.
Organic, Unrefined Coconut Oil
As a lube? Well, yes actually, you can use it as a lube! Make sure it’s organic, food grade and totally unrefined though, because you want it to be as pure as possible, and not have your body absorb any nasties. Not suitable for use with latex condoms, because it’s an oil. It’s great for the skin, and is an amazing moisturiser. Will last longer than water based lubes, but can require reapplication, as your body drinks it in. Can be used with most sex toys, glass, metal, silicone etc, but not for use with porous materials, so avoid if you’re using anything made from TPR/TPE, jelly, rubber, PVC etc – so it’s not suitable for the majority of male masturbators. Be aware that coconut oil can cause clogged pores, simply because it’s an oil, but most people will be fine with it. Perhaps try it as a body moisturiser first, to check you have no adverse reactions. Safe for vaginal and anal sex, masturbation, and non porous sex toys. Smells of coconut!
Everything Else …
That’s not the full list of available lubes out there. Warming and cooling lubes, which do exactly what they say on the tin, are often a personal thing, you either love them or hate them. Flavoured lubes are similar, they’re great for oral sex, providing you actually like the taste. Some can be horrible and sickly sweet, others more subtle and delicious. Totally a personal decision. You can also buy lubricants specifically made for anal play. These are generally much thicker, to provide more protection to the delicate anal area.
With all lubes, watch out for parabens, petrochemicals and other rubbishy ingredients. High quality, body-safe lubes often have fewer ingredients, which are easier to understand from the label. I’d recommend you never use a lube from a manufacturer that doesn’t disclose all of the ingredients in the product, clearly. As with anything, if you experience anything unusual, discontinue use.
So there we are! Hopefully that helps to demystify the types of lubrication on the market.
Go get slippy and have some fun!